One day, while I was at school, I believe I was in 5th grade. My mom arrived at the school and took me to her best friend’s home.

After we got there everything was wrong. The adults spoke in hushed words, and they got ready to go somewhere but where I did not know. I just know something was not the way it was supposed to be.

After the adults left, us kids were playing and during the play our arms crossed and made a X . I was then told by one of the other kids that is where your dad is, I definitely did not understand.

It seemed forever, but my mom came back and we went home.

I was told my dad had died. It was an accident was all I was told.

Arrangements were made and I was not included; nothing was discussed in front of me. I was not brought to the funeral.

I had a hard time believing my dad was gone I had no proof that I saw. As he did drive truck, I led myself to believe that he would be home in a few days. That never happened.

The day I was to return to school I was rather excited and was hoping I could get information from my friends to see what they know about what happened to my dad.

Not a single person spoke to be on the subject of my dad’s death.

Life went on, but everything changed, my grandparents were fighting with my mom. She lost the mobile home, lost the property and the junkyard. We had to find an apartment my grandparents did not allow us to move back into their home.

When I was six, we moved into our own mobile home on my grandparent’s property. Though I now had my own space, I could still come and go from my grandparents’ house as freely as before.

I was also told that I was going to be a big sister. My brother arrived in August and I started first grade in September.

With my mom caring for the house and my new brother, I became Dad’s constant companion. I went everywhere with him, and while our bond strengthened, my relationship with my mom began to shift.

My dad worked for the highway department in our town. He occasionally took jobs truck driving which kept him on the road for a few days at a time. And my dad was a backyard mechanic. He had recently purchased a large house with a junkyard behind it, starting his own business. Whenever someone needed car parts or repairs, they would visit my dad at his junkyard.